By now most of you have heard the news...
I am in shock...
I've been crying off and on all day today.
In shock.
Sad.
Angry.
Irritated.
Speechless.
Wishing someone would send me the "just joking" memo.
Please?
Wanting to wrap the entirety of GP in a huge **HUG**
Wanting to skip being engaged altogether and just be married, because life is WAY too short.
Yes.
Me too.
This one hit me hard. There are people who touch your life and you know you'll miss them. And then there are people who have touched your life in big ways - ways that changed something for you, or better yet - changed YOU. I'm thankful to have known Thomas, I'm thankful for the big ways he impacted my life, I'm thankful that since we both have the same Father that I can look forward to seeing him again someday. But my heart hurts really badly today. :cry: As Chelbertina says: "my eyes won't quit leaking today."
If you would like to send something to Molly, I have her address. Just PM me for it. I know from experience a simple card can mean a lot.
Yeah. The eyes leaking thing sorta sums it up quite well. *sigh*
I got a text from Thomas today, he said he was praying for me. I feel privileged that he took the time to pray for me, I sent a text back thanking him. If I would have only none, I would have said so much more than just thank you.
I have honestly come to understand that I will never understand God's timing. I really don't think I am even suppose to try to anymore. Thomas was a great friend! I miss him!
:cry:
I just wanna scream and hit something. Or kick something.
My head hurts.
My eyes hurt.
My kleenex box will soon be empty.
God is love.
I know this.
I can't forget this.
Molly... Argh. It just seems so...
It appears he was logged in to Godplace on the last morning of his life..if conversion is right, about 2 a.m. Wedneday. His last post had been the day before, over in Ultra Serious.
:cry:
I feel torn in two with emotions today.
I keep thinking about Thomas and how I know he is happy and with the Father he always wanted. I can even imagine if he could he would tell us some corny joke and tell us to cheer up already. He is happier than he ever was and could ever be in this world.
Then I think of Molly and how she just lost what to her was her world and her future, I know how she feels, and I find myself mourning for her loss. I feel so conflicted in how I should feel. I rejoice for Thomas and mourn for Molly.
Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest one more time.
There's really no way we "should" feel, I think. Grief has such a huge range of emotions that it changes moment by moment sometimes.
Today mine is guilt. I feel guilty that I still have a fiance. I feel guilty that I am still alive and have someone to love.
And yet the JOY for Thomas... The sheer overwhelming joy... and then the totally overwhelming, near-drowning sense of loss that Molly must be feeling...
Our prayers for her must continue long after we are able to move on.
I too was thinking on how long it would be before we got back to "normal" and then I wonder what exactly can "normal" be without our dear friend. I also wonder what crazy corny joke or comeback he would have for us right now. And how he would tell us not to be sad, that he is where he always longed to be, he is home and free.
*sigh*
Yes, yes, yes! All of that!
Chris and I were looking through some of his older photos on FB this morning, and I had to laugh in spite of myself. And then I suddenly realized that Thomas was still doing exactly what he's always done to me - make me laugh even when I didn't want to. I keep expecting my phone to ring... to hear his (faked) gasp of surprise that I answered my phone... to hear his goofy snortlaugh... to hear him make some arrogant patronizing comment and call me his "adopted sister" like he always did (just 'cause he knew I'd glare and then laugh)... to hear one of his incredibly corny jokes. And then I almost expect him to call and tell me to cheer up, to remind me that although I "lost" someone I care about, I really HAVEN'T "lost" them, because I know where they are. Only a few people have the gift of making me laugh in spite of myself. Chris. Both my brothers. My sister. My cousin John. Chel. And Thomas.
Yeah, I'm rambling again. It's what I do. But Thomas rambled too, so I don't s'pose he'll mind that I'm rambling about missing him.
:great:
*snickersmile* just posting a thumbs up smiley makes me think of him and a certian GP call we all had when we discussed the (other) meaning of a thumbs up.
Thanks Thomas. *halfsmile*
Thomas? Ramble? Who are YOU talking about? :eyebrow:
**HUGS** memories
Thank You, Jesus, for the minds with which You have equipped us, and the memories that You bestowed upon us.
Thank You for the gift of being able to replay moments in our minds even when they are long over.
Thank You for the gift of being able to recall fun times even when we are faced with horror.
Thank You for the gift of love and friendship, and for not taking all our friends at once, so that we can each have others for comfort at times like these.
Thank You for all the things we take for granted. We truly appreciate them. Really.
I hate that i have been so scarce thati missed the chance to meet and apparently amazing person.
This thread has helped validate some of my feelings about losing Heather (joygirl). Im normal for my mixed emotions :-]
its hard to understand why we must experience such heartache. Praying for Molly and his friends and family
(http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l576/jasonloveselona/2011_May_June/th_DSC_8761-1.jpg) (http://s1124.photobucket.com/albums/l576/jasonloveselona/2011_May_June/?action=view¤t=DSC_8761-1.jpg)
(click for a larger image)
Okay... this was SUPPOSED to be a serious, somewhat romantic picture. Really. The mood was right. The scenery was right. The photographer had snuck up on us and caught just the right feeling... and then...
:roll: THOMAS!!!!!!!! :pound:
:laughhard:
My thought: if he were here, he'd be looking for a way to make us laugh even when we weren't in the mood.
Anyone got a pic or saying like that? Let's share those. Thomas would like it.
Quote from: RainbowJingles on August 04, 2011, 07:21:03 PM
There's really no way we "should" feel, I think. Grief has such a huge range of emotions that it changes moment by moment sometimes.
Today mine is guilt. I feel guilty that I still have a fiance. I feel guilty that I am still alive and have someone to love.
There isn't a need to feel guilt over this - you have a Fiance'; talk to him because I have a hunch he needs you right now. Do not feel guilty that you are alive and have some to love. Embrace it and go forward with life. My time with Thomas was one church service and a lot talking before and after service. I have an idea that he'd not want you to have those feelings.
Quote from: myhaloisintheshop on August 04, 2011, 10:43:38 PM
I hate that i have been so scarce thati missed the chance to meet and apparently amazing person.
This thread has helped validate some of my feelings about losing Heather (joygirl). Im normal for my mixed emotions :-]
its hard to understand why we must experience such heartache. Praying for Molly and his friends and family
I think I missed something here????
Quote from: MelodyB on August 04, 2011, 09:27:35 PM
:great:
*snickersmile* just posting a thumbs up smiley makes me think of him and a certian GP call we all had when we discussed the (other) meaning of a thumbs up.
Thanks Thomas. *halfsmile*
I've thought often today of that call. And it made me laugh, especially since he'd use the "thumbs up" smiley every time he got the chance afterwards.... :laughhard: :thumbsup2: :thumbsup2:
I thought it was strange, how I could miss someone I had never met in person so keenly...... but Thomas had a way of being everybody's brother from another mother..... :biglaugh: Those occasional text and phone calls- man I wish I could replay all of them. And that goofy stock market voicemail greeting..... :laughhard:
:spitlaugh:
That voicemail!!!! rofl *shaking my head*
Oh that VOICEMAIL was awful! rofl
five-oh: GP can be like that for sure. Somehow, through the goofiness, the real person seems to come through here on the board. Somehow, through the laughter, the sharing, and the silliness, we truly FIND one another. And sometimes we even find ourselves.
*closing my eyes and shaking my head all over again*
That voicemail!!! rofl
I laughed. I told him it was crazy. I laughed again. We discovered the # key (or was it the * key?).
*laughing out loud*
It feels good to laugh out loud right now.
Quote from: RainbowJingles on August 04, 2011, 11:51:24 PM
five-oh: GP can be like that for sure. Somehow, through the goofiness, the real person seems to come through here on the board. Somehow, through the laughter, the sharing, and the silliness, we truly FIND one another. And sometimes we even find ourselves.
Yeah, I'm seeing that. Between Thomas, and the conversations I've had with your intended, who I consider a great brother, and meeting Mini and his wife...... it's clear that this is no ordinary forum. It is my haven when the 'real"world gets to be too much and I need to be among other nuts of like faith.... even the silliness has a Godly, comfortable feel to it most times.
:thumbsup2:
:cry:
Doesn't it just, Bob. Doesn't it just. Godplace is... well, there's nothing else like it.
Sarah, I'm glad you weighed in here. I never really got to know Heather, and I'm sorry you're missing her so badly. I'm glad if this thread helped you in some way. *hugs*
I had hoped Thomas and David would be able to get to know each other better. I think they would have been good for each other. I know they really liked each other in the brief time they knew one another. I'm REALLY glad that Chel and David and Ryan are together on their trip right now. It's good to have friends nearby when you're hurting.
Quote from: Scott on August 04, 2011, 11:32:11 PM
Quote from: myhaloisintheshop on August 04, 2011, 10:43:38 PM
I hate that i have been so scarce thati missed the chance to meet and apparently amazing person.
This thread has helped validate some of my feelings about losing Heather (joygirl). Im normal for my mixed emotions :-]
its hard to understand why we must experience such heartache. Praying for Molly and his friends and family
I think I missed something here????
Heather passed away July 17th --only 27 years old. She was found unconsience. I shared briefly in sharing.
Thanks Ruby. Some days you just don't know how u feel exactly. sometimes I can't help but be angry at God--even myself ---and I know she wouldn't want that.
Heather was an awesome friend and during her life she taught me more than anyone. In her death I'm also learning more about myself and never taking life, my family or friends for granted.
I was just thinking a few minutes ago, about how when GP would get quiet for a few days I would always get a call, text, or YIM from Thomas. Usually within the first five minutes he would say, "GP is to quiet, how can we stir things up?". lol
He loved when everyone was posting and having fun on here. I think he is probably smiling right now because he is the cause of so much activity on GP in the last few days. He loved this place and so many people here. He would be glad to see everyone posting!
*sigh*
:)
Agreed. He would love it. He would love it so much that he would say :thumbsup2:
:hypocrite:
Over the years we have lost a few people who frequented GP ...
Mike died of a heart attack a few months ago, his wife was "songforjoy" and he used a clown name; Joygirl, Yooper and several others over the years have passed away leaving holes and vacancies in GP.. Honestly I hesitate to mention some names to keep from drudging up old memories.
One of my best friends died in December 12 months to the very day that another friend of mine died of a fatal heart attack. 2 or 3 others have passed on since December.
I am sure that each of us have losses ...feel free to share them in this thread.
I didn't even know that joygirl passed away. :-(
New information concerning Yoop's Memorial Service:
The memorial service will be held at the Hansen Onion Martell funeral home in Marinette, WI on Thurday, August 11th at 6pm.
http://www.hansenonionmartell.com/details/obituary_detail-Richwine.html (http://www.hansenonionmartell.com/details/obituary_detail-Richwine.html)
*sigh*
I still randomly cry when I see posts about him. Sitting here at work with tears dripping right now. :cry:
Me too.
*HUG*
I think the realization that he is gone is just finally sinking in to my head. For some strange reason FB chat has given me issues all week. I never have it turned on, but this week every time the page refreshes it opens. Almost every time it shows Thomas as available for chat. I keep wishing it would be true and he would just send me a message.
Reading that obit kind of hit me hard earlier because it hit me that he is really gone. I miss his corny jokes, and even just seeing him pop online on YIM at the weirdest hours of the night. Molly has been in my prayers and will continue to be. She will need our prayers for a very long time past Thursday.
I also keep thinking he is gonna pop into sharing and share some random stuff from his day. Or pick on someone.
I'd volunteer and let him pick on me.
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on August 08, 2011, 07:21:25 PM
I still randomly cry when I see posts about him.
Me too. :cry:
I'll be fine for a while, and then it hits all over again.
I miss him.
A lot.
Ditto :-(
Quote from: taco_harvell on August 08, 2011, 07:10:36 PM
http://www.hansenonionmartell.com/details/obituary_detail-Richwine.html (http://www.hansenonionmartell.com/details/obituary_detail-Richwine.html)
I have never wished more than right now that teleportation was possible.
is it just me or is its really unsettling to have his mom posting on facebook using his phone?
I saw that today. I almost choked when I saw his name, before I actually read the status.
Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on August 19, 2011, 04:29:25 AM
is it just me or is its really unsettling to have his mom posting on facebook using his phone?
It's not just you.
I can't imagine he would have wanted her or anyone to have much access... I hope for her sake she doesn't look around too much you know?
Oh my. :o I just went and looked at the latest message. I missed that one today.
Agreed. She needs to log out and leave it alone. Wow.
what happened to Joygirl? I miss seeing yoopers post... been thinking about his family and his girlfriend..
I wasn't Yoop's friend on fb but I know Heather's parents have been posting from her phone as well. So far its just been to give encouragement to her friends but it makes me cringe thinking they may have read some of our convos. Its nothing bad but there are things she shared with me a few days before she passed that may be hurtful to them. That and HEather helped me through a lot of "junk" things I would rather them not know. :-\
Dew--we aren't exactly sure what happened with Joygirl....she was found unconcious and was unable to be revived.
It's creepy. Very. And all I could think when I read "his" supposed "status" was... "Oh, my word! Thomas would be SO angry right now!" My second thought was... "Good grief! She's reading all his personal messages with his friends." And I know for a fact she'll find things she will not want to read. *sigh* Painful relationships only grow more painful with every invasion of privacy. (Which is, I guess, why they're painful in the first place.)
Signed,
rWooby who is sad (and trying not to be angry)
I have to agree... I am really wishing I could burn his phone... and not just for him.
*nod*
:beret:
I don't understand. Why not just delete that acct from your friend list? He isn't there, it's not his thoughts, you'll not communicate with him again this side of glory, especially via FB. You'll not lose any of him or your memories by deleting an acct his mom uses. You have eachother to encourage & remind you of the blessing he was.
I don't feel right deleting him from my friends. We were using his page to encourage each other and to keep his memory alive. And we were basically using it to communicate with his family and Molly who doesn't have a Facebook. But his mother posting "from heaven" or as him, was creepy, and not to mention, all the personal messages he might have saved and she might have read. *sigh* it's just disturbing.
I had a former classmate on my Facebook who was killed tragically in Colorado, and his family began making posts as him "from heaven." It was disturbing and I had to delete him, because I wasn't about to ask them to stop.
its not the posts that bother me as much as it is that we know he wouldn't have wanted her being the one with access to everything. also, if she does snoop its only going to be hurtful to her.
Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on August 21, 2011, 11:49:19 AM
its not the posts that bother me as much as it is that we know he wouldn't have wanted her being the one with access to everything. also, if she does snoop its only going to be hurtful to her.
Exactly!!!
The post do bother me somewhat as well to though. Thomas name had just stopped showing up as available for chat on my FB and then out of nowhere a post supposedly from him popped up.
Oh don't get me wrong, the posting is creepy. Though I think it would have been fine to post once under his name to say "if he has anything of yours, photos etc. Contact me at:" so it shows up in the feed of those that know him. And I think it should have been Molly, not mom.
https://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=150486848354038
This may help...
Hi,
We are very sorry to hear about your loss. We will review your report and take the appropriate steps based on our policies described below. You may not receive a confirmation email when we've taken action, but we take this matter very seriously and review all reports.
Memorializing the Account
It is our policy to memorialize all deceased user accounts when reported. This sets privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile or locate it in Search. Additionally, the profile will no longer appear in the "Suggestions" section of the home page. The Wall, however, remains so that friends and family can leave posts in remembrance. We cannot provide login information for the account for any reason.
Removing the Account
Immediate family members may request the removal of a loved one's account. This will completely remove the account from Facebook, so no one can view it. We will not restore the account or provide information on its content unless required by law. If you are requesting a removal and are not an immediate family member of the deceased, your request will not be processed, but the account will be memorialized.
If you would like to submit a special request for a deceased person's account, please use the following form:
http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=memorialize_special_requests
Please note that we may not be able to honor all requests.
If you have further questions, please visit our help center here:
http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=842
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
I got a note from Molly today she is very grateful for everyone's prayers.
Tucked inside was one of those things they hand out at funerals with Yoop's pic inside. When I saw it, it hit me once again that this is real.............. :sadbounce:
I miss my friend!!!
I looked in, and it _was_ unsettling.
John
Obviously a few weeks behind...
Not intending to be insensitive, but could I ask some questions?
I'm from WI, and I've noticed and interacted occasionally with Yooper here. I know Yooper means the U.P. of MI, but that he lived in WI, too. My wife is from up there, from the Marinette, Crivitz, etc. area. She formerly attended Pentecostal Apostolic Church in Peshtigo under Rev. Dale Welch, Pastor before we wed.
Did Yooper ever attend there?
I noticed, too, in this post, that the funeral was to be held in Marinette at the same funeral home that my wife's grandmother's funeral was held at, so I'm just kind of wondering if I actually knew the man behind the screenname, or at least, if my wife did.
Can anyone help?
Thanks.
I think He lived in Marionette and went to a Small home missions church in Menominee... or the other way around. Not sure which he lived in, and which he went to church in, but they were really close together? There were not many people in the church, as it had just moved there from 4 hrs away within the last 2 years? Not positive about the dates and such?
Marinette and Menominee are sisters cities, just across the bridge from one another. It almost feels like you haven't changed cities.
I know there used to be some kind of daughter work there, and there's something else happening now, too. I will ask my wife.
Can anyone share Yooper's real name, at least in a Pm, so I can ask her?
Thanks.
Yoopers Real name was Thomas, And Yes theirs a chuch in the marinette menominee area. It's pentecostol apostolic Chuch with pastor Dale F Welch.. I was from there. thats the church I grew up in.. My cousin was in the hospital with molly when she got the news... IT was very sad.. No yooper didnt attend there..
Almost picked up the phone to call Thomas the other night...... Still very hard to believe he is gone at times. :sadbounce:
The holidays seem very "off" without hearing Heather pretend to be a grinch. :smirk: I know she loved the family time.
I find myself wondering if I will ever find another friend that can make me laugh or encourage me like she did. Im not so sure anyone can. :-\
December has been bittersweet for us
12-10-2009 and 12-10-2010 : two friends of mine passed away and they knew each other. Two good friends who made me laugh. When 12-10-2011 came around I held my breath and crossed my fingers.
Really been missing Thomas lately....... I know how excited he was for me and RJ. I miss him badly!!
Quote from: taco_harvell on December 31, 2011, 01:32:06 PM
Really been missing Thomas lately....... I know how excited he was for me and RJ. I miss him badly!!
Me too. And I kept thinking about him while I was watching your wedding ceremony online. I kept thinking how much he wanted to be there. And how many hundreds of pictures he would've been taking. And how he would've annoyed Elona with his constant joking, and made her do some amazing eyerolls. And I thought about how it just COULDN'T have been since last May when I saw him. And how much I wanted to pick up the phone and call him. Just to hear his silly snortlaugh. And tell stupid jokes that make me groan. And tell me it's okay to cry when I'm hurting. He was good at all those things.
Odd how grief hits at such strange moments.
This year the Christmas season was especially difficult for me, and I'm not even completely sure why. I was REALLY missing my Bapa. More than usual. And he's been gone since I was 14. But it was at Christmastime that we found out he had a brain tumor, so maybe that's part of why Christmas can make me especially melancholy. It's not just that I miss him. I remember all the horrid moments, and the tears, and the questions, and the fears. And it makes me want to hide in a corner and cry. Just like I was a frightened 5 yr old or something.
And this year I was missing Bapa and Thomas... and Nana (even though she's still alive we've already lost her so much that it's almost like she's already gone)... and I kept having flashbacks to Christmas the year I was 13 because this year felt eerily similar due to some family stuff going on.
/rambling
Quote from: myhaloisintheshop on December 28, 2011, 04:16:42 PM
The holidays seem very "off" without hearing Heather pretend to be a grinch. :smirk: I know she loved the family time.
I find myself wondering if I will ever find another friend that can make me laugh or encourage me like she did. Im not so sure anyone can. :-\
*tight hug* I never got to know Heather much, but she sounds like a wonderful friend. I'm sorry you're missing her so much.
*HUGS* Ruby.
*hugs* to everyone missing loved ones
We were definitely missing people in our GP wedding picture.
So hard to believe it has been a year..... :-(
In a really weird Yooper moment.
A man walked into our church on Wednesday night, he came in 20 minutes late and left right when the pastor dismissed.
He was the spitting image of Yooper!
I didn't get a chance to talk to him.
Wow...
Happy one year anniversary in heaven, Teddy!
I miss you.
:beret:
I know I don't come around a whole lot, so I'm certainly out of the loop concerning this topic. However, I did see this topic several months ago and I keep trying to remember...I think I met joygirl once. That is, if I'm not confusing her with someone else - I honestly can't even remember what her real name was. I met her at a Youth Congress along with AdamBreck and we are all in a group picture together. If it's her...I might be confusing her with someone else, though...
Sorry for the random interruption.
I am visiting the family in Wisconsin that he was always talking about. I cried today.
Quote from: sunlight on October 02, 2012, 12:14:04 AM
I am visiting the family in Wisconsin that he was always talking about. I cried today.
He is for sure not forgotten... :thumbsup2: :thumbsup2:
*sits beside Chel and waits until she's ready to talk*
**HUGS**
*HUGS* Chel
:hug: to my Chellay
Quote from: sunlight on October 02, 2012, 12:14:04 AM
I am visiting the family in Wisconsin that he was always talking about. I cried today.
Did you meet his Uncle Joe? He is a friend of mine.
What is his last name? I met a bit of his family before he died.